Doe rae me fa so la te DOH!

Salutations, Shmuzzes.

I do hope your New Years resolutions remain intact, though I know that's wishful. Perhaps you were going to quit smoking, for example, and then you lit up a bouge thirty seconds after the ball dropping, most random hook up you've ever had.

Anywayz, I have an idea and I need your help. You know when your in the car, rocking out to a song by yourself, and you're really belting it out, completely not self-conscious about the person in the car next to you wondering if you're mentally handicapped? And the words you're singing are NOT the real words. Because you made them up. You're not really sure what the song actually says, so, in order to sing along, you decide to go with a rough estimation.

At Shmuz Weekly, WE WANT YOUR LYRICS. Why? Because made up lyrics are hilarious and instead of keeping them between yourself and your rubber ducky, we think sharing them with our massive audience is your best option.

Take the song Smells Like Teen Spirit by Nirvana, for example. I've been singing this puppy wrong since I was in fourth grade, when I looked exactly the same as I do now. Below, I've put my lyrics in capital letters and the real lyrics to the song in parentheses.

WHEN THE LIGHT'S OUT, IT'S CONTAGIOUS
(When the light's out, it's less dangerous)
AND WE DON'T KNOW, IT'S CONTAGIOUS
(Here we are now, entertain us)
I WAS STUPID, AND CONTAGIOUS
(I feel stupid, and contagious)
I'M A LIGHTHOUSE
(A mulatto)
I'M A WINE-O
(An albino)
I'M A SKATA
(A mosquito)
AND A FEEDER
(My libido)
YEAH
(Yeah)

Now I know Kurt Cobain had his issues, but certainly he did not imagine himself to be a lighthouse and a wine-o, as my own lyrics to this song suggest. And this, my friends, is just the tip of the ice berg, for lack of a slezzier phrase. I know you've got some classics of your own. Please send them to us by replying to this message. You can put your own lyrics in the same format that I used for Smells Like Teen Spirit, or you can just tell us the name and artist of the song and write in your lyrics, and we'll look up the actual lyrics. You could also post them on the facebook group wall. Or on the comments for this post. Or you could tell us in person, although then we will ask that you sing your version out on the street. SEND US YOUR MADE UP LYRICS. Seriously. This could be the greatest thing since Kettle Cooked chips.